May 31, 2021 – Being Authentic

Daily Thoughts

5/31/21

Being Authentic. Those two words some of the hardest to live up to. I know that I have been struggling with my own authenticity, and some of that has been reflecting in these daily thoughts. I’ve been trying to follow someone else’s version of what a good conversational/motivational blog is and how it should be written. I lost myself a little bit in some of the posts. Being authentic requires that I operate from my own compass – I set the directions for my life, and I allow input and advice. If that input and advice don’t match up with what I see as my pathway, I don’t follow it. If I follow for a while but make a choice to change because it doesn’t fit, my authenticity has demanded it.

It has only been within the last 10 years that I have fully embraced this process. I had been in the process of establishing an identity that aligned with my spiritual/energetic core up until that point, but I had spent the majority of those first 50 years being what others thought I should be. I was the good son. I sacrificed my authenticity and hid some key aspects of myself. I abdicated my power to control my own destiny. The trauma of the spinal cord injury and the physical dependency made those choices easier. Allowing others to control aspects of my life that were more difficult was easy, though it created other problems that I ignored. Because I had given them power over me, it was understood that I would be to they thought I should be. I had given my power to be authentic to the fears and judgment of religion and Society.

Almost a year ago, my body gave me a new test. The stress levels that I had been under trying to help others and be what they thought I should be came to a head when my body shut down because of sepsis. I took charge once I was mentally back to a level of functioning that made it possible. For the first time in my life, I feel like I am on my own path and not following what others believed I should do. I still listen to input and advice, but if it doesn’t align with my spiritual core, I make a decision based on what does. I am taking time to listen to that “still, small voice” within. That has made the biggest impact.

From where I sit, I seek my own authenticity and celebrate yours.